Coach the Person, not the Problem

Have you ever made a New Year’s resolution only to see it fade into the background by February or March? I know I have. One commonly quoted statistic is that nearly 50% of people abandon their resolutions by mid-February (and some use a number as high as 80%). Why is that?

To explore, let’s look at a concrete example: a common resolution is to “lose weight.” We might even make it a SMART goal by saying, “I will lose 15 pounds by February 28.”

In this context, if we think of losing weight as “the problem,” coaching “the problem” would include questions like – How many calories are you taking in? How much exercise are you getting? When are you eating? What are you eating? Etc. And while these are important questions that can lead to short term success, what’s missing is creating change that is sustainable over time.

What gets in the way of sustaining change? Invisible forces such as beliefs, values, and even self-perceived identity. Until we examine, understand, and possibly reframe these invisible forces, we’re likely to fall back into old habits. This exploration is what coaching “the person” is all about. Questions coaching “the person” might include: What will losing 15 pounds mean to you?  What is your belief about losing (or not losing) weight? What are the barriers? What values come into play? What do you need to see or believe differently for you to feel differently about the choices you’re making?

Transformational coaching is about making the invisible visible, because once we are aware of what is driving our choices, we have increased capacity to shift – to choose different actions that support the change we want to see. And we embrace transformational (not transactional) coaching by coaching the person, not the problem.