A common coaching mistake: Working harder than the client

In our Laser Agility Coach Certification, we dedicate a module to common coaching mistakes and the principles that prevent them. One mistake I know all too well—because I made it constantly in my early years—is the trap of working harder than my coachees.

I thought I was doing the right thing by staying busy in my head:

• What’s the next powerful question I can ask?
  
• Which tool might be useful here?
  
• How can I impress this client?
  

But in my effort to be a “brilliant coach,” I wasn’t actually coaching. I was so focused on myself that I stopped listening deeply. I missed subtle but important verbal cues—a hesitation, a shift in tone, a phrase emphasized. I overlooked non-verbal signals—a sigh, slumped shoulders, a forced smile.

A moment I’ll never forget

One client paused for a long time after I asked a question. Finally, with a tight smile, they said: “Yeah, I guess everything at work is fine.”

There it was—the hesitation, the tension in their voice, the slump in their posture. But I was too busy formulating my “brilliant” next question (What’s your top priority for the next 90 days?) to notice. Their real concern slipped right past me.

If I had been fully present, I could have asked something as simple as:
“I noticed you said ‘I guess.’ What’s underneath that?”

That small observation could have opened the door to a deeper, more honest conversation about what was really going on.

The lesson

Great coaching isn’t about proving your value by working harder than your client. It’s about:

• Trusting the process instead of trying to control it.
  
• Being fully present rather than staying stuck in your head.
  
• Noticing the small things—because those often lead to the biggest breakthroughs.
  

When we stop trying to impress and start listening with all of our senses, we create the space our coachees need to do their best work.