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How Assertive Are You?

How Assertive Are You?

“What you allow is what will continue.” I don’t know who originally said this, but it is an excellent mantra for people-pleasers like myself who tend to “go along” to the point of letting others take advantage of us. How do I know when it’s gotten to that point? Easy — I start to feel resentment. Resentment that is initially directed towards the other person… but if I am really honest, the resentment is towards myself, for allowing the situation to happen. Being assertive simply is speaking your mind, setting boundaries, and doing what you know is right. It is claiming your personal power by aligning your thoughts, beliefs, words and actions.

This week’s Challenge: This week, I will claim my power by being mindful about what I am allowing — and not allowing.

Avoiding being Aggressive (overuse): Once taking a stand moves from claiming one’s own power to imposing one’s will on others, being assertive has moved to being aggressive. There is a competitive flair — a win-lose mentality — an angry energy — to being aggressive. If you haven’t given any thought to another point of view, then it’s likely you’ve shifted into the aggressive zone. Take a few minutes to be curious about what another’s experience and point of view is, and let that inform how you move forward.

“Raise your words, not voice.
It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”
- Rumi

Commendable Trait: Assertive
Underused: Passive
Overused: Aggressive
Strength: Confidence
Quadrant: Courage

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