If the cadence is not balanced, someone is not working.
One of the Laser Coaching principles is ‘If the cadence is not balanced, someone is not working.’ This means if we work too hard as coaches and do most or all the work for our clients, they don’t take responsibility. We kind of know this as a coach, but often only on an intellectual level. But then, when we feel the pressure to prove our worth during the coaching session, we can quickly get sucked into the problem-solving mode. We start to think hard about what the solution to their problem could be. They even might ask us bluntly to tell them what to do. They feel stuck, so they look to us to help them see what needs to be done.
While we want to help them get out of their bell jar with their limiting views, it is not up to us to present a solution. First of all, we are not them, so what works for us might not work for them. Secondly, we know that offering solutions is a quick fix; it does not allow clients to learn more about themselves. Much more important than tackling a challenge successfully is for them to think about what makes this a problem for them and how they contribute to the problem. Thirdly, if the client is getting into a more passive state, it could be either that they expect this from the coach as they are used to the mentor model, or they might not be motivated to really learn something about themselves.
If the cadence is not balanced can also mean that the client is doing all the talking, and they can go in circles without making any progress. At the end of the sessions, they shared a lot but have not gained any new insights about them. Of course, we want clients to process their thoughts and feelings. But if they just talk and talk and talk without reflecting on what they share, it is time for the coach to jump in, even if it means interrupting the client. The purpose of coaching is to support the journey of self-insights at a deeper level, recognizing outdated beliefs and unhealthy habitual patterns.
