How To Be Resilient When Things Don’t Go Your Way

April 21, 2023

by Erika Bill Peter


I just got an email from the international school. I could not wait to open it and read the message. It was so important to me and even more important to my daughter. She wanted to change schools. She comes home exhausted every night, not only from the long days but also from the learning environment that was draining the motivation and energy she used to have.

Unfortunately, my daughter did not get into the international school…too many others were on the waiting list ahead of her. It was quite a bummer. Having already had two other kids at that school, we had hoped to make it in with her. 

After a short period of disappointment, I realized I was wasting my energy on something we could not control. We had provided all the reasons this school would benefit our daughter. She had even written a motivational letter. There was nothing more we could do at the moment.

We just had to trust that there was a good reason for this which is hard to see at the moment. Letting go of trying so hard made me realize how freeing it was to let go of attachments. Instead, I shifted my focus to all the beautiful things we had in our lives and appreciating what we had.

Lesson learned: When things don’t go your way, you essentially have two choices. Cling to wanting things to be different than they are, which translates into fruitless suffering for no good reason, OR choose to enjoy the reality of what you are grateful for today. The latter is how you stay resilient

About the Author:  I am Erika, and sometimes I am an Impact Tilt who does not like to feel trapped and wants to drive actions with boldness. In this situation, I had to tilt toward my more natural Connection Tilt, which is more receptive, grateful, and trusting.

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